If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
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she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
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No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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