who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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