Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
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I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
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What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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