chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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