I'm so fucking centered right now
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize