I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize