dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
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