We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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