did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Randomize