just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
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He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
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So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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