New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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