I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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