So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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