PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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