btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
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Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
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My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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