If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize