Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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