Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Alive.
So much puke
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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