she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
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