she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize