Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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