discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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