As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
MIDGETS
????
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize