I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize