Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize