miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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