id be glad to
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize