dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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