Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
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Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
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The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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