Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
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