i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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