Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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