Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize