im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
You are the jesus of drinking
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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