I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
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the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
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He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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