How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize