I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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