Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
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He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
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Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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