my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
Randomize