My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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