i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize