Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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