At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
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Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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