google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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