Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
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door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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