I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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