he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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