We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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