Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
my poor anus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
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