We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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